A Poem About Nothin, 2018

I’m balanced. I’m focused & doing so well. I finally picked up all the pieces of myself & damn it feels so good to be myself again. It’s been awhile since that feature on “never know” & i’m feelin so much better than i’ve ever felt before so i think that calls for a reintroduction. Plus, bacc then i held my tongue so much that now my voice is free, i want to share so much i decided to call this “a poem about nothing”, because i know i got some random stuff to say.

First of all i wanna state; i don’t want to be disrespectful but i won’t be disrespected, by whoever! My energy is everything & i will protect it, by any means! Even if it means me seeming mean to people that truly mean the most to me. For the stars to show my power, they gotta see the ghost in me. Time & isolation’s what i need to see some growth in me. So, i ain’t sorry for not kiccin it like i used to & this new Shay is someone they gon have to get used to, anyways. 

I contemplated on this moment for many days like shoot…i’m damned if i do. damned if i don’t. i could take the blue pill like they want but i won’t. 

I’m much more interested in seeing how deep this hole goes. I’m just following my spirit like the leaves when wind blows. But…let’s move on to me combin out my dreads & how i love it cus i’m still the shit. And it’s not a metaphor when i say it took a lot of weight off my shoulders gettin to my roots cus forreals, my head was heavy as shit! And for everyone saying i’m going natural, really sound ignorant as hell, cus pounds of dead hair on ya head is about as natural as it can get. They should smurf theyself. My hair..is just as wild & free as i am now but moving on. 

Now i done got a lil comfortable so it’s time gee get groovy on em & lay down the funk. I feel like my poetry style is something like, spoken word & g-funk; cus i’m westy like that. A spiritual gangsta, not religious. Please don’t test me like that, cus..

I ain’t for the nonsense no more. I can’t abuse programmed responses no more. I just can’t have that fake shit on my conscious no more. So, hell yea i’m tryna go vegan..or vegetarian fasho! If they lie about the food, what imma believe in nasa, news, crosses & politics for!? Plus some more. But i ain’t got time for debates. Let’s change the subject & talk about something with a little less substance so everyone’s u comfortable in a different type of way. I know i’m standing out in the crowd either way. 

So let’s just talk about what bugs me. Why i’m like waldo & been so lowkey. Why my circle fell off in 2016 & i still think it’s just cus i couldn’t smoke & drink but if it’s cus i messed up, ain’t nobody told me so…

I left the space created between us for assumptions. Like, don’t say you got my back then turn around & start frontin! And if to get right, i gotta get left then just say that instead of nothing! 

But i guess i’m just a different type of person. And though it doesn’t matter now, this emotional release is perfect! I just feel so free cus now i figured out my purpose, & with all the shit I been through i just know that i deserve this..manifestation. 

So i’m done being nervous cus this opportunity is my invitation. I might have to hit the bar cus it’s a celebration, next months a whole year since i been off probation! What a feeling it is to escape negative vibrations. That’s why “as within, so without” is sucha organic quotation. Cus our perception of reality, is only a reflection of self. I realize now that at the time, I just hated on myself. I might’ve lost a lot of weight but I was playing with my health. That’s why I love my man so much cus he helped me to love myself! 

Now that’s a real negu, & why i’m forever loyal. It’s so much deeper than perceived. Than hangin out & getting spoiled. Swear he treats me like a Queen & he shows me that i’m royal. Don’t nobody really get it but this man has been like soil, for me. 

The way he’s kept me grounded & helped me to grow. Forget hittin my spot nigga he hit my soul. He defined & expressed to me what love really is. Like Faith, I never knew there was a love like this, before…

And i love him so much i could really say so much more but, i’ll save that for another time. Another stage, another day. Another poem about nothing & another side of Shay. 

I guess that this is like my poetic PSA. Rhythm & expression; that makes poetry to me. My reality is a poem that I’m expressing every day & my hearts the instrumental if I ever need a beat. Real RAP.